Thoughtful Thursday: HUMAN RIGHTS - A right to be forgotten?

So I decided, this blog really wouldn't be complete without a 'law' related post every now and then. But I'm not talking leases, facility agreements or resulting trusts. I want to talk about REAL things that we can all relate to...

Back when I was 17/18 and I was making my big life plans, it was human rights which made me decide to pursue a career in law, and in particular to apply to Exeter College, Oxford where the tutors specialized in criminal and family, and human rights law. Now I know I work in a large London commercial law firm, but I still follow news articles and campaigns run by groups such as Liberty and am fascinated by the hugely ethical debates such as the acceptable period for detaining a suspected terrorist or whether free movement of people, and in particularly asylum seekers, should necessarily mean no/minimal border control or regulation. I find the relationship between the law and 'fundamental' human rights so interesting (I say 'fundamental' because you could write 2000 words on what that means in this context). I know, call me a geek.

Five Things I'd Tell Sixteen Year Old Me...

Currently Loving: River Island

It's not very often that I walk into one shop and I just want EVERYTHING. Even with my beloved Zara I still think they have a few misses, or things that aren't worth the price tag. However, when I went into River Island on Oxford Street this week I had to stop myself from doing a 'supermarket sweep' of the shop floor. Everything in there is so gorgeous! Now I don't know about you but in the last year I have really noticed a change in the clothes in River Island, and they have TOTALLY stepped up their game - they are fast becomine one of my favourite high street stores! So I thought I'd share with you some things I've been loving just in time for pay day. Apologize to your bank balance in advance...


I absolutely love this style of crop top, and the palm print on this one is beautiful - I think it looks so much more expensive than £12. I want some new 'sandal-esque' shoes, but which are closed toe as walking around in London in sandals can make for dirty feet! I absolutely loathe the jelly shoes, but I think these are a great, smarter, alternative. Plus white is so cute and a great Summer alternative to black.

This pale pink leather skirt is adorable and so up my street - plus another bargain for only £25! You can wear it both casually in the day with sandals and a white tee (and accessorize with these hot animal print sunnies), and then slip on some heels (like these gold block heel sandals) and a silk cami and you're good to go for the evening.

I love the River Island camis - I have this style in black and I wear it all the time, it makes your boobs look great! I love the colour lime green, and I think this with a pair of jeans and some cute flats make for the easiest, but still stylish, outfit.

Lastly are these pale blue shorts. There is a matching blazer which I am also dying to get - I LOVE the shade of blue. Also, as I'm getting older I'd rather not wear butt-skimming shorts, and these look like the perfect length. Plus again, you can wear them casually with a white cropped jumper, and then at night with a white cami and nude stilettos. Perfection!

What do you think? Are you a River Island lover?

Thoughtful Thursday: It's All About Confidence

For secondary school, I went to an all girls grammar school. Aside from suffering as a result of being surrounded by 1000 other teenager girls every day (read as: lots of bitching, fights over boys and peer pressure) I would say it was a great school and it gave me a great education. There were a few teachers whose teaching skills were a little questionable, but on the whole I really enjoyed school and I felt that we were overall taught at a very high standard. I would also say that all my peers were extremely bright, shown in the school's average examination results.

However, there was one big problem at the school, which I have reflected on ever since leaving back when I was 18, and that was the huge lack of confidence in the students in their intellect and ability. Despite the fact that it was extremely common for a large percentage of the year to get all A*s and As every year, when you asked someone whether they did well their answer generally went something like 'yeah, it was ok.' Now you might say that was modesty. I think it goes far deeper; to a genuine lack of confidence in performance.

I have numerous friends who attained more than 5 A*s and the rest As at GCSE, yet when they were asked whether they were going to apply to Oxbridge their answer was 'oh no, I'm definitely not good enough for that.' Of course for some people, the way of teaching and learning was just not for them, but that answer was a far more common one. And why did they feel that? They'd shown their capability, and had all the raw materials to make it.

Let me tell you a little story that will never leave me. Back in my AS year I lost myself a bit. I just didn't have it together like I did in other years, and as a result I fluffed up my French listening exam and ended up getting a B. I know, shocker (I've told you I'm a geek.) Well, I remember going into my Head of Year's office to talk about it, and another teacher was in there. She actually told me that it was a waste of time applying to Oxford with a B, and I was much better not even applying to any Universities that wanted all As, and should aim for Universities from around the 25th in the country. I was absolutely heartbroken. Needless to say I ignored her moronic advice and thank God I did.

With teachers like that, I suppose it's not a surprise that girls at my school weren't confident in their own ability. Added to peer pressure to be 'cool' (to drink, smoke and spend every waking moment with boys from the boys' grammar) and parents who may not be as supportive as mine, it all makes sense. Even as I've gone through life, I've noticed how the really bright, clever ones are often the ones to sit and look nervous and constantly apologize for anything they've said wrong, yet the slightly less intelligent in life are very happy to get up, voice their views and aren't afraid of the consequences.

If you look at celebrities, there are so many great examples of both kinds of people. I am going to focus on two females: J K Rowling, and Katie Hopkins.

I recently went to a talk by J K Rowling in Oxford, and despite the fact she came across as incredibly smart and as a result witty, she was also extremely shy and seemed very overwhelmed at the reception she received. Yes. A woman who has sold between 400 and 450 million books worldwide and has made over $13 million dollars seemed to lack confidence and belief that she deserved the huge applause and admiration from the audience. During the talk she actually explained how she lacked huge confidence in her book writing skills before Harry Potter, and she still doesn't seem to understand how brilliant she is now. Mad huh?

An example of the other kind of person, in my opinion, is Katie Hopkins. If you don't know who I mean from the name, you will when you read these things that actually came out of her mouth:

"Suicidal prisoners should just kill themselves."
"Ginger babies. Like a baby, just harder to love."
On girls called Charmaine: "'Hi, this is my daughter Charmaine.' I hear 'Hi, I am thick and ignorant."
"Personally I hate mobility scooters. I find their owners intolerable."

I rest my case. If you still don't know who I mean, but hopefully agree with me that the above opinions are disgusting and immoral, she was a failed contestant on The Apprentice and has actually made a job out of sitting on This Morning saying and sitting on Twitter tweeting these awful things. Whilst some of her quotes are almost funny because of the shock value, this woman is INCREDIBLY rude, attention-seeking and above all just plain WRONG/STUPID. How can someone hold these views? And more to the point how can she get the air-time that she does expressing such idiotic views? It's her confidence in her own opinions that means she has made her mark, even if that's for all the wrong reasons.

So there you have it. It's definitely not true to say that all clever people lack confidence, or that the 'stupid' ones have heaps of it, but all too often you see examples of it. If only my friends at school, writers like J K Rowling and every other intelligent, confidence-lacking person all had the confidence that Katie Hopkins does, perhaps idiots like Katie wouldn't even get the air time. Wouldn't that be great? I'm holding out for it one day, and I'm sure that's what Charles Bukowski was getting at.

Making a House (Flat) a Home

Katie and I have now lived in our flat for 5 months. How time flies! We were actually very good at buying everything and sorting everything in the flat quite early on when we moved in. We knew it was important to do all the little things that are so easy to forget/miss, but which make the place you live in your home, rather than just, well, the place you live in. I thought I'd share a few of them with you, so if you're wanting to spruce your place up a little bit, or have just moved into somewhere and want to add that little 'je ne sais quoi', you have a few ideas.



PICTURES - I am huge fan of putting things up on the walls. I think that's the thing that people often get lazy about doing, and either don't buy any pictures, or they sit on the surfaces rather than actually being put up on the wall. Katie and I were a bit guilty of that, but eventually we bought some Command Strips (which are the best inventions as they allow you to stick things to the walls without damaging them) and eventually put them up. Our favourite is the photo we got printed onto a canvas in our lounge which reminds us of our time in Thailand.



I also love this cute little trio of canvases from Argos though. We have a red theme running through the open plan kitchen/living room in our flat, so they fitted perfectly. And did I mention they were only £6.99? What a steal.



FRESH FLOWERS - Now if you've read my other posts, you'll know one of my NY resolutions was to buy fresh flowers. Whilst I haven't bought them as often as I should do, we have had quite a few bunches and I've absolutely loved it. These ones lasted absolutely AGES and they really brightened up the place.



I have also had some gorgeous tulips and roses and lilies in my bedroom. They just make me so happy to look at. I know, I am officially a Granny.



CUSHIONS - This one is so simple, but so effective in my opinion. Cushions are so cheap, but they just dress up a bed or a sofa. I am a huge fan of the colour pink (as if you didn't already know) so these ones from IKEA were perfect. The cream heart one was from Primark for £3. How cute? I love how they look on all my different duvet covers. We also have a big mix of different ones on our sofa, from a sheepskin one, to plain bright red or orange ones, to a patterned cream and black one. I love how they all look together.



PHOTOS - Everyone knows that having photos of your loved ones around makes your home feel more 'yours.' When I'm missing my parents and brother back home I love looking at the photos of them, and I also love looking at the photos of all the crazy times I've had with my girls. Not to mention the boy. Plus, I have a bit of an obsession with 'cute' photo frames. Especially the pretty, ornate silver ones.



THE LAST LITTLE BITS - I have to admit I probably have some slightly unnecessary decorative bits in my room, including these 'L O V E' letters. They sit on my dresser, and despite the fact they have absolutely NO purpose, I just think they look pretty and cute. Plus, no man is ever going to let me have them in a bedroom with them, so I'm enjoying them whilst I can!

So there you have it. A few little house-y bits. What else do you love decorating your home with? Katie and I are always on the look out for things for the flat (yes, we have a problem.)

Thoughtful Thursday: Cheating in Chelsea

On Monday night, my flatmate and I found ourselves screaming, cursing and sighing deeply at our TV screen. Why? Not because the TV was playing up. No, it was because of Alex Mytton and the latest cheating scandal to break on the hit TV show, Made in Chelsea.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of TOWIE and MIC; in fact Mondays at work are now so much more bearable knowing I get to come home to an hour of my favourite love-to-hate characters on Made in Chelsea. However recently the scales have tipped and what used to be a 'love-to-hate Louise Thompson's incessant crying, Cheska's meddling and Lucy's 'gangsta' attitude' thing has now turned into hate-to-hate. Now don't get me wrong, I still love the show (anyone who watched Monday's episode will have witnessed Mark Francis's comedy gold 'I thought Nandos was a wine bar' moment) and I won't stop watching. However, there is one thing that I can't stand watching on both MIC and The Only Way is Essex, and that is the portrayal of relationships.

Tell me…how many of the Chelsea men have been faithful? It has to be less than 25%. The same goes for the TOWIE men (in fact, I think that percentage is even less.) Whilst there's no denying that watching the relationships unfold and seeing how the men and women interact on the show is fascinating, I can't help but feel sad when time and time again we inevitably watch everything fall apart. And why DOES it fall apart?

You could say it's the fame. Unfortunately with appearing on the show comes quite a lot of publicity, and many of the stars thus make personal appearances at clubs and bars across the country. That seems to be where, for most of the men, the temptation becomes too much. Unfortunately with all the fame, it appears it would seem to go to the heads of some of the 'stars' and they, quite literally, believe they are God's gift to man (Spencer Matthews, I am looking at you).

You could say it's the alcohol. At these personal appearances it seems the stars get drunk, girls throw themselves at them, and they just can't say no. At least that was Alex's excuse to Binky for kissing two girls on two separate occasions during their pretty short term relationship. Now aside from his other ridiculous excuse that he drunk so much he couldn't actually remember having sex with someone (put so eloquently by Rosie/Lucy – 'you don't just forget putting your dick in someone') is getting too drunk a good excuse? Not really.

You could say it's the result of our generation's heavy reliance on social media and technology. How many celebrities are now caught 'sexting' or tweeting members of the opposite sex behind their partner's back? Answer: A LOT. It's become far too easy to do naughty things behind your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband'wife's back and never get found out. Again however, this is no excuse.

You could say it's all a publicity stunt. I definitely think to a certain extent that the producers make the situations on these reality TV shows play out a certain way to ensure maximum scandal. None of us are completely stupid. However, if you witnessed the aftermath of Binky finding out about Alex's antics, I'm sure you'll agree with me that her tears seemed 100% genuine. The same goes for Louise's non-stop crying, and Stephanie Pratt's confrontation of Spencer this season. Whilst perhaps things are exaggerated or played out to full dramatic effect, I'm sure the events did genuinely happen.

What makes me most sad about all of this, and I guess the reason why I wanted to write (rant) about it, was the potential effect I think this has on society, and in particular my generation. I hardly know anyone who doesn't watch the shows, or at least who doesn't vaguely know the storylines and characters. It has (almost) got to the stage where a relationship in which a man doesn't cheat is a huge achievement, and the man should be congratulated/rewarded for staying faithful. Why has monogamy become a praised thing, rather than merely expected? Can we blame it on the fame, the alcohol or technology? Can there EVER truly be a justification?

And it's not only the men on the programmes who cheat which infuriates me, but it's also the girls that ALWAYS seem to take them back. Louise and Spencer, Ferne and Charlie. Lockie and Danielle, Mario and Lucy, Jamie and Tara and now Binky and Alex (from Twitter pictures and current public appearances together it is clear they are still an item.) Why do these girls always seem to go running back? Why can't they realise what a complete douchebag their arsehole ex-boyfriend is, and move on to bigger and brighter?

I know more than anyone that when you love someone, you are prepared to forgive things that perhaps you shouldn't. However, cheating? Really? It made me incredibly angry when Binky was arguing with Lucy, and attempted to defend her forgiving Alex by saying 'well I'm just not as strong as you.' Well Binks, I love ya, but sorry I don't buy that. You are as strong as you want to be, and being 'weak' is no excuse for letting a man lie and cheat on you multiple times.

My whole article is summed up in a Twitter status (haha) of one of my guy friends after the Danielle and Lockie debacle, which read 'All this proves is that a guy can do anything and a girl will always take him back LOL.' Firstly, we need to change the current status quo so that faithfulness is portrayed as a given, not a bonus. And secondly, is that REALLY the impression us girls want to give men? Come on ladies.

Four Restaurant Finds in SW London...

It is fair to say that I LOVE eating out. During the week, my flatmate and I work long hours and when we're not eating dinner at work we tend to rustle something up at home (recipe posts are on the way.) However, whilst I love eating out, I don't like eating at ridiculously expensive places. The way I see it is that there is SO much choice in London, that you don't always need to spend £100 on a dinner to have a delicious meal. Therefore, I've done the hard work for you and found you some great places to eat out on a tight-medium budget if you live in the SW area, or if you fancy a change of scenery and heading down here for the evening.

Brixton Village

I heard so many good things about Brixton Village before I decided to go and see what the fuss is about; and every time I've visited I haven't been disappointed. It's hard to describe, but it's in two separate parts and is basically an indoor arcade with winding little pathways, with little independent restaurants lining them. It's certainly not 'Michelin star' food, and it's not the kind of place you dress up for, but every time I've been I've loved my food and it really is dirt cheap. Plus, the atmosphere and the vibe is so cool, especially on Friday and Saturday nights. However word of warning - it can get very busy on the weekend so prepare for a wait for the best places!



Honest Burger - My best friend and I had wanted to go here for AGES. I am a burger addict. One Saturday we were both ridiculously hungover and decided the only cure was Honest. We weren't disappointed. We both had the homemade lemonade which came in the cutest little glass jars with green and white striped straws. It was delicious, but the only criticism was that it needed ice because it was a little warm.

I went for the cheese (cheddar) beef burger which is served medium rare. The meat was incredible, the bun was soft, the fillings were so tasty, and what's more the rosemary salted chips are delicious (and plentiful!) My best friend doesn't eat beef so she had a chicken burger with the toppings of a beef burger, and she assured me her's was delicious too. Best bit? It was only £11 each. Bargain. I have to admit, the Patty and Bun burgers still topped it, but only just.

Franco Mancas - If you are looking for the best pizza in SW London, look no further. The menu is quite small, but everything I saw looked incredible. The pizzas are absolutely MASSIVE, and only around £6-7! How crazy is that? The best thing about this is that they use sourdough, so the crusts are incredible. I don't know about you, but I usually end up eating the middle of my pizza and leaving the crunchy dry crusts. Well these are soft and tasty. I managed to eat the whole thing; it was just too good. There are no airs and graces with this place; the wine was served in glass tumblers and the turnover is quite quick. However for under £30 for 2 pizzas, a bottle of wine and side salad you can't really go wrong.

Clapham



Osteria - This was another recommendation, and again it didn't disappoint. It's on Clapham High Street, and if I'm honest from the outside doesn't look like anything too special. However what makes this place amazing is it's Italian authenticity; it seems to be family run, all the staff are Italian, and it's decorated so you genuinely feel like you could have just walked in off a street in Rome. I had pizza (my Dad called me a pleb) which was goat's cheese and spicy sausage - delicious. The nice thing was it wasn't only pizza and pasta; the mains all looked really delicious too. A definite one to try.



The Bobbin - I'd never heard of this before, but it's a small gastro-pub in Old Town Clapham. It's a little walk from the main high street past The Jam Tree, and outside it's covered in fairy lights. Sold already. Now I'm not a huge fan of restaurants serving British food; I like a lot of spice to my dinners, and I always tend to want to try cuisines that I wouldn't usually make myself. However this really didn't disappoint. We went for the lamb (which was SO tender) with herbed potatoes and garlic cabbage and I can honestly say it's one of the best meals I've had in weeks, and the leg of duck which was also delicious. This is a bit of a secret, but a VERY good one.

So, have I got your mouth watering? Is there anywhere else you'd recommend? Like I said, I'm a big fan of eating out...

Daniel Wellington

Ever since I started work I wanted a new watch. The problem was, I couldn't decide exactly which one I wanted. I wear a lot of black and navy at work, and usually I tend to go for yellow gold jewellery as I think it suits me best. As much as I looked, I couldn't find anything I fell in love with. I didn't really want a Michael Kors-esque watch, but couldn't find anything else which was affordable yet chic and stylish. I love the Olivia Burton watches, but the faces are a bit too big for my skinny wrists.

In comes the Daniel Wellington. I've seen these on a few blogs and I've 'ooh-ed' and 'aah-ed.' I love how classic they look, so that they will never go out of fashion. They're not fussy, or blingy, or in your face, but they just add that extra little something to an outfit. They also allow you to tell the time. (Can you tell I'm more pre-occupied with the look of a watch than I am with its function? Although it is useful).



I was very undecided about the black or brown strap, or the yellow gold or rose gold detailing, but I am actually in love with the one I've got (the brown with the rose gold.) The rose gold is quite subtle, and I think looks less harsh than the yellow. Plus, the brown means you can wear it with both black and navy clothes. Perfect!

Lastly, how cute is the box the watch comes in? It's taken pride of place on my dressing table top.



Here's the link to the watch if you fancy treating yourself next pay day. Are you a fan of Daniel Wellington? What watch do you wear?

Thoughtful Thursday: 21st Century Girl Power

So the other day I was procrastinating on Pinterest (as you do) and came across this quote. My first reaction was to laugh. My second was to want to re-post it on Instagram. My third was to decide not to do so, because of the impression that would give people about me who saw it.

Now here on LBL, my miniscule corner of the internet, things rarely ever get very serious. However, I feel it's only right I occasionally discuss things that are just a little more thought-provoking than the 'New In' at Topshop or my new favourite eyeshadow. Just occasionally. So here goes...Apologies if I seem self-righteous.

I count myself as an incredibly lucky individual. I was born to two loving, caring parents who gave me the best childhood you could imagine. Most importantly, from a young age my parents instilled in me a desire to learn, to work hard and to aim high. They taught me that anything was possible with hard work and determination. It has to be said I was a bit of a geek throughout school (I was known to take Letts Maths books on holiday for fun. I know.) However, my parents nurtured my passion for learning and studying, and supported me throughout primary school, secondary school and then Sixth Form. They gave me enough freedom so I never felt pressured or forced into anything, but guided me so that I ultimately made the right life choices. I owe my parents everything, because without those values they instilled in me, I definitely wouldn't have gone to Oxford and I wouldn't have achieved my dream of becoming a 'proper' lawyer.

Equality between the genders has come a long way. We're getting closer to establishing a greater equilibrium between men and women at the top within companies and industries, with equal pay and more equal rights and opportunities. Seeing so many women at partner level within my law firm was a major attraction for me when applying. Women no longer have to choose between having a career and having children. Now don't get me wrong, we have a long way to go - there is still a disparity between top-earning men and women, and don't get me started on gender representation within Parliament - but it's baby steps and I believe they are heading in the right direction.

So why didn't I want to post the quote on Instagram? My parents brought me up to be so proud of the values they gave me, and women are closer to equality with men than ever before. I think the problem is the way that young women want to be perceived by young men. If you've ever read the book 'Gone Girl,' (and if you haven't - DO IT) you'll know who the 'cool girl' is. She's the one that drinks bottled beer with the lads, plays video games in her sexy underwear, never complains when her boyfriend goes out and gets wasted with his guy friends and never gets jealous. She's basically Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. In Gone Girl, the author highlights the fact that all women, when they first date men, want to appear to be a 'cool girl,' despite the fact that deep down at least some of it is a facade. And I suppose that's why I wouldn't post it.

Young women want to appear sexy and girly, rather than feisty and uptight. They want to find the right balance between intelligence and ambition, and femininity and vulnerability. Inevitably, that means talking about sex rather than their lifetime career aspirations. It's true what they say - sex sells. I am not at all suggesting that men don't find intelligent, hard-working women attractive. Far from it. But when a man first strikes up a conversation with a woman, they'd rather know how kinky they are than how many hours they are putting in at the office in order to 'run the world' (girls.) (No blog post about strong independent women is complete without a Beyonce reference FYI.)

Now don't get me wrong - I am not a 'feminist.' I do not believe in going au naturelle in the hair department, I do not believe women should have to hide their femininity or sex appeal, and I definitely am not a 'man hater.' I love being a female, I love dressing up just as much as the next girl and I am not about to change that. I want to highlight my hair, wear fake tan and wear a tight pencil skirt to work...then I want to walk into the office, boss my job and hopefully one day be good enough to make partner. I want to be great in the office as well as the kitchen and the bedroom. Is that so much to ask?

Therefore, I am proposing that feminism, and girl power, must be redefined in the 21st century. Long gone are the days when women would chain themselves to railings to get attention, or even the days when women defied their femininity and constantly hated on men. We need to re-define girl power so that we embrace our sexuality and femininity whilst embracing being independent, strong, beautiful women. It's OK to tell a boy you want to make CEO. But it's also OK to tell him your favourite sex position. We no longer have to choose whether to be the 'cool girl' or the feminist. Let's all be the 'cool girl feminist.' THAT is 21st century girl power.