So the other day I was procrastinating on Pinterest (as you do) and came across this quote. My first reaction was to laugh. My second was to want to re-post it on Instagram. My third was to decide not to do so, because of the impression that would give people about me who saw it.
Now here on LBL, my miniscule corner of the internet, things rarely ever get very serious. However, I feel it's only right I occasionally discuss things that are just a little more thought-provoking than the 'New In' at Topshop or my new favourite eyeshadow. Just occasionally. So here goes...Apologies if I seem self-righteous.
I count myself as an incredibly lucky individual. I was born to two loving, caring parents who gave me the best childhood you could imagine. Most importantly, from a young age my parents instilled in me a desire to learn, to work hard and to aim high. They taught me that anything was possible with hard work and determination. It has to be said I was a bit of a geek throughout school (I was known to take Letts Maths books on holiday for fun. I know.) However, my parents nurtured my passion for learning and studying, and supported me throughout primary school, secondary school and then Sixth Form. They gave me enough freedom so I never felt pressured or forced into anything, but guided me so that I ultimately made the right life choices. I owe my parents everything, because without those values they instilled in me, I definitely wouldn't have gone to Oxford and I wouldn't have achieved my dream of becoming a 'proper' lawyer.
Equality between the genders has come a long way. We're getting closer to establishing a greater equilibrium between men and women at the top within companies and industries, with equal pay and more equal rights and opportunities. Seeing so many women at partner level within my law firm was a major attraction for me when applying. Women no longer have to choose between having a career and having children. Now don't get me wrong, we have a long way to go - there is still a disparity between top-earning men and women, and don't get me started on gender representation within Parliament - but it's baby steps and I believe they are heading in the right direction.
So why didn't I want to post the quote on Instagram? My parents brought me up to be so proud of the values they gave me, and women are closer to equality with men than ever before. I think the problem is the way that young women want to be perceived by young men. If you've ever read the book 'Gone Girl,' (and if you haven't - DO IT) you'll know who the 'cool girl' is. She's the one that drinks bottled beer with the lads, plays video games in her sexy underwear, never complains when her boyfriend goes out and gets wasted with his guy friends and never gets jealous. She's basically Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. In Gone Girl, the author highlights the fact that all women, when they first date men, want to appear to be a 'cool girl,' despite the fact that deep down at least some of it is a facade. And I suppose that's why I wouldn't post it.
Young women want to appear sexy and girly, rather than feisty and uptight. They want to find the right balance between intelligence and ambition, and femininity and vulnerability. Inevitably, that means talking about sex rather than their lifetime career aspirations. It's true what they say - sex sells. I am not at all suggesting that men don't find intelligent, hard-working women attractive. Far from it. But when a man first strikes up a conversation with a woman, they'd rather know how kinky they are than how many hours they are putting in at the office in order to 'run the world' (girls.) (No blog post about strong independent women is complete without a Beyonce reference FYI.)
Now don't get me wrong - I am not a 'feminist.' I do not believe in going au naturelle in the hair department, I do not believe women should have to hide their femininity or sex appeal, and I definitely am not a 'man hater.' I love being a female, I love dressing up just as much as the next girl and I am not about to change that. I want to highlight my hair, wear fake tan and wear a tight pencil skirt to work...then I want to walk into the office, boss my job and hopefully one day be good enough to make partner. I want to be great in the office as well as the kitchen and the bedroom. Is that so much to ask?
Therefore, I am proposing that feminism, and girl power, must be redefined in the 21st century. Long gone are the days when women would chain themselves to railings to get attention, or even the days when women defied their femininity and constantly hated on men. We need to re-define girl power so that we embrace our sexuality and femininity whilst embracing being independent, strong, beautiful women. It's OK to tell a boy you want to make CEO. But it's also OK to tell him your favourite sex position. We no longer have to choose whether to be the 'cool girl' or the feminist. Let's all be the 'cool girl feminist.' THAT is 21st century girl power.
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